It’s Morp Season

Morp is a traditional Nacirema rite of passage for humans as they grow from small beings to larger beings. A morp usually consists of girl and boy humans huddled in a small area, moving their limbs in peculiar directions. After the studies many anthropologists have taken on morp, the public can now get a better idea on what actually goes on before, during, and after a morp. On the day of the morp, the entire community of Nacirema shuts down and prepares for the ritual of morp and lectures the young girls and boys who attend. They are told to watch out for magical potions and possessed metal box drivers.

The female in Nacirema take a longer time to prepare for the morp than the males. This is peculiar because the men wear many more layers of cotton than the women to the morp, and one would think that multiple layers would take a longer time to place on one’s self. The women of Nacirema also go to the Head-Scratching-Chamber before the morp. They enter, sit on a throne, and wait for a scratch doctor to service them. When the scratch doctor arrives, the woman and the doctor exchange words about what is to be done to the women’s head. Then the doctor uses his or her hands to manipulate and pull on the women’s hair and head. To relieve stress and worries, the scratch doctor places metal objects into the women’s hair and covers the hair with a potent spray that attracts good luck. The entire process takes about one hour.

Right before the morp, the girls and boys gather in predetermined areas to stand like statues. They must stand still until the elders allow them to leave. This may take anywhere from 20 to 60 minutes. During this process there are many flashing lights in the background, trying to distract the girls and boys from keeping their stance. Then the boys and girls get into long metal boxes with black circles that spin. About 10-15 Nacirema can fit into one black box.

Once the Nacirema arrive at the morp, they stand along the walls of a small room, waiting for the disk spinner. The disk spinner is essential to any morp. Without a disk spinner, a morp is not complete, and the humans become angry. When the disk spinner arrives, he or she pushes a bunch of buttons and turns knobs until a magical spell is put on all of the guests at the morp. The magical spell causes the girls and boys to start to move around, they move their feet, arms, even their bottoms. Some bend over like they are looking for something on the ground and others try to punch the air with their fists. The spell lasts quite a long time, and the girls and boys continue to move around for hours. When the disk spinner finally takes off the spell, the guests of the morp leave the small room and climb back into their metal boxes with black spinning circles.

Surviving the morp and the magical spell placed by the disk spinner is a difficult task, and those who complete the morp are the most beautiful and handsome humans in Nacirema. The survivors get to sleep in a bed of clouds for as long as they want, and when they wake they eat a feast made for kings. Because the morp is a rite of passage for Nacirema of this age, it is a highly celebrated and an important event for all of Nacirema.

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