The Age of All Freedoms

Horace Miner was the first to write about the Nacirema but Horace missed a vital part of the Nacirema culture. This part of the Nacirema culture only applies to the Nacirema who have not reached the age of all freedoms. The Nacirema teenager’s hidden religion of “lohocla” is a major problem not only because it is against the invisible rules that are only followed in front of the man in a black bath robe with a wooden hammer, but this religion kills many of the Nacirema teenagers.  This religion is practiced in many places but the most common ones are the place of the knobs that will not turn, or where only the birds can find. One summer I decided to get out of the hustle and bustle of the city life and went out to where only the birds can find to study a group of Nacirema teenagers.

 I traveled to the land of the yob scouts where I spent months trying to friend these Nacirema teenagers, so they would let me come to one of their religious lohocla ceremonies. Finally on the night that the yob scouts disappeared we all gathered around the light of the miniature forest. The Nacirema informed me of the secret lohocla language. If I ever left the place of the ceremony and I wanted to get back into the ceremony I would have to yell flash after I heard someone yell lightning. I was really curious of this and how it affected the Nacirema religious practice of the lohocla but later that summer I found out this is the horrible ending of the religion of lohocla. When the person does not yell flash all the Nacirema practicing the religion scatter and throw the sacred lohocla out so that only the animals can find it.

The only Nacirema that was the age of all freedoms threw around the sacred lohocla to everyone so they could start the ceremony. I opted not to perform the ceremony with them so I could observe what the Nacirema did. The lohocla had this special power of making all the Nacirema work together to catch all of the sacred lohocla holders so they didn’t touch the ground, and after they got there sacred lohocla holders they held it as if it was their newborn. As the night continued the Nacirema started to sway to the music of the lohocla, and they started to speak the language of the lohocla. No one could spill the lohocla or else they were banished from the light of the miniature forest circle. The youngest Nacirema got up to leave and tripped over the light of the miniature forest, the sacred lohocla went flying and so did she. You would think that someone would try to catch the girl, but everyone went for the sacred lohocla holder so none of the lohocla spilt. Meanwhile the youngest Nacirema went head first into a thing they called a hemi-V8 .  Everyone just laughed at the youngest Nacirema who was now sitting in the mud bleeding. Soon all of them were passed out either in their places of sleep or in the back of the hemi-V8. I would think that the Nacirema would not want to do this more than once but every time the yob scouts disappeared the Nacirema would perform the same lohocla ceremony, but it didn’t always end up with one of them bleeding.

                The point of the Nacirema lohocla religion and ceremonies are still uncertain because every Nacirema has a different reason for participating in these ceremonies. Some say it is rebellion, others say it is just for fun, and some do it just because it is socially acceptable by their peers. All I really have found out is that this religion by the Nacirema teenagers has been going on for a long time and will continue to go on no matter what anyone tries to do.

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